All day sickness

Last Thursday we had seen our baby's heartbeat for the first time. It was truly an unforgettable moment, even though we still can't really associate ourselves to the baby's presence yet because it's still so tiny! (8mm) But I'm definitely feeling it through nausea since 4 weeks after conception. I thought I was doing pretty well before since I didn't experience any fatigue and was feeling pretty normal after BFP. By week 4, I was suddenly nauseous all day long, I even threw up a couple of times. I'm extremely sensitive to smells, all kinds of smells. I can't stand the fragrance from the body lotion which I've been using for years, I can't stand mom's cooking, especially anything with a strong aroma and I can smell anything from miles away. Everything tastes differently to me now which also means nothing tastes good anymore. I had to lay in bed most of the time because I also feel dizzy if I stay up for too long. I've been sleeping like a pig but eating like a chicken. I really don't like myself right now, I feel so useless and can't get myself up to do anything. Mom said this will probably last for a month or so before I start to feel a little better. I guess I shouldn't complain and should enjoy this special pregnancy moment. =) I just hope that I'll be getting enough nutrition for the baby by 2nd trimester. Everything we hope for is that the baby's healthy and normal. Can't wait for my first apt with my OB next week.

Miracle does happen for us!

Today is the day that I truly feel relieved after 3 yrs of trying to have a baby. I've been anticipating this moment so many times before but it was nothing like what I expected it to be. We're a married couple who had experienced years of frustration over infertility and I wanted to start this blog to not just document our life after IVF but also to encourage all the couples out there not to give up their hopes and dreams. Because miracles do happen for you!

Here's our story -

We had previously performed 3 IUI's between 2006 and 2007, then we stopped for a year due to the discontinuation of our insurance coverage towards infertility treatment. (The last one of the IUI's was done out of pocket but it still didn't work so we stopped and just needed time to recuperate.) Finally resumed and decided to go for IVF in early Feb. this year, the first fresh cycle of in vitro was painful. The injections and the drugs were nightmares to me but luckily I didn't suffer from any signs of hyper stimulation or any other side effects. Doc said that they retreived 23 eggs and 9 of them were fertilized. On the day of the transfer, 2 embryos were selected and both graded excellent according to the doctor. Everything was looking good except that it didn't produce a positive pregnancy result after 14 days. We were devastated because all this time we thought our only problem was the morphology of my husband's sperms and IVF should be the savior for that. A doctor's visit was scheduled a few days later and we were informed that occasionally all the hormone shots and drugs taken during the fresh cycle can effect the implantation process for some patients. Nevertheless, I started doubting myself again and thought maybe there's something wrong with me too! We decided to take a break from all this and planned our last min vacation to Switzerland and Germany.

It was a wonderful vacation, so many breathtaking and postcard like scenaries throughout the trip. We both felt more confident and brave enough to go for the second try from our frozen embryos. The frozen cycle was so much easier and less stressful, no injections, no checking the voicemail every day for new instructions, no retrieval surgery. It was meant to be natural so everything was going according to my natural time of ovulation. The day of the transfer was pretty smooth too, I was in the OR for about half an hour, after they push me back to the recovery room, the nurse didn't even let me stay in bed for more than 5 min. and off we were driving home. Then it came the most agonizing 12 days in my life, I've heard a lot of women get really tired and fatigued right away, some of them felt cramps like their period was coming, all these were supposed to be signs of pregnancy. BUT I FELT NOTHING!~~ NOTHING AT ALL!!! It felt exactly the same as the first time and I couldn't help but to feel hopeless again! I had already told my husband that I think this would be another failure on day 7. I also remembered that a friend of mine mentioned that the basal temperature would remain over 98 if you're pregnant but I wasn't sure if it was the weather that I started to feel cold when I woke up in the morning on day 8. I thought my period was coming because that's usually how I'd feel. All of these mixed thoughts and feelings were messing up my head so badly that I couldn't stop thinking about it and it was making me mad! I even wanted the doctor to call my husband for the result on day 12 because I wasn't sure if I could take the disappointment again. At 2:02pm, a familiar number showed up on my cellphone, it was my doctor, he asked if it was a good time for me to talk, then he said "Congratulations!" I really don't remember much of the rest of the conversation now but I was ecstatic, tears were coming down, I felt my hands trembling and I called my husband right away. It took him by surprise too and he sounded so happy. All the complaints of all gods, jealousy over friends who had babies so easily, feeling inferior when attending baby showers, none of them is important anymore. I have to look ahead and do all it takes to have a healthy baby. Today is the day that a miracle happened. If I can make it, you can too!